10 perkara apa yang anas suka buat dengan kak putih.

(this is not his best pic though)

this morning i recieved a letter from my younger brother, anas who turns 11 last january. he wrote about 10 things he enjoyed doing with me during last school holiday. act he was forced to write that. here are the lists.

1. berjogin dengan kak putih

2. pegi makan pagi dekat Mee Abu

3. pegi main boling dengan abang wan

4. kita geng, tak geng dengan kak ina.

(perkara yang anas ingat tentang kak putih)

5. kak putih suka tengok cerita csi dan orang perempuan sengau.(guess who?)

6. suka lena pada pukul 4

7. kak putih suka kentut....tak sanggup nak type. to good to be true.

8. kak putih suka baca novel.

9. anas rindu nak main boling dengan kak putih

10. jangan lupa balas surat ini.

so here what i'll reply to him.

10 perkara yang kak putih ingat tentang anas.

1. anas terer main ps2. kak putih selalu kalah ngn anas.

2. anas suka teh o ais.

3. gaya anas main boling sungguh bersungguh2 walaupun masuk longkang jer memanjang.

4. pagi pagi gerak anas pegi jogin, susah nak bangun tapi bila anas dengaq pintu bilik ayah buka anas terus bangun dengan outomatic p bilik ayaq.

5. anas suka lukis gambaq kereta, kereta kebal, helicopter, and jet since u were 3 years old.

6. Anas suka bagi duit kat kakak kalau kakak tolong anas apa2. selalunya rm2.

7. Anas suka menyanyi. paling kakak ingat skali anas suka menyanyi lagu bunga emas masa anas umuq 3 or 4 thn.

8. Anas very protective. kalau ada orang mengorat kakak kakak anas paling marah. anas lawan balik. anas akan cakap apa tengok2. tak malu ka. rasa selamat jer jalan ngn anas.

9. kalau makan luaq anas akan p toilet n kak putih la org yang kena teman anas.

10. anas tak penah keluaq rumah tanpa gel rambut. rambut anas sentiasa kemas.

banyak lagi. tapi dah penuh list 10.

like her hair.

audrey tautou.

her smile charmed me. her hairdo numbed me. her movie, amelie. suka la dia.

new possesion.

new shoes for new week..

iswal and i bought a pair of shoes each yesterday.. no intentions at all for shopping. just need to buy book.and indeed i did buy a book.to kill a mocking- bird.been heard bout this book for ages but never thought to read it..

then we both saw these awsome shoes. many of them actually. with different colours and shapes.. iswal liked the one that we bought.not much difference with the one i liked. same colour but different pattern. i actually liked this one but ended buying like hers. cos it looks nicer on my feet..

iswal and posed last night. soo keen to wear them today. but they look kind of kembang on my feet but still i love these shoes..

what i need for now.

colourful life. now my life is so grey. mixture of white and black. mana hijau pucuk paku? mana kuning kerepek? mana merah halimah? xdak. p mana tatau la.

vibrant energy cos i'm so sleepy and tired around the clock kecuali kalau dlm kelas. xsempat nak kelip mata. there're always something that will keep my eyes wide open although sometimes my spirit is nowhere to be found.

new handbag. seriously to date bag is so down to drain. smua zip dah tecabut. so, just tinggal 1 jer skrg yang aku suka. kamonla, women need atleast how many handbags? based on k.ina, we atleast need 3 handbags. the 'it' bag, the cocktail purse and the extra large bag. as such i reall need 2s more. aku sgt tak membazir selepas pegang duit sendiri cos hell i know how hard is to earn every penny. sayang nak spend. but i'm always broke in the middle of the month. when was the last time i had a really true shopping? thousand years ago i guess. tu pon atas belas ehsan ayah. aduhh.

ideas. for teaching. i really need to crack open my head and lick all the leftover of creativity.. desperate moment. cos nowadays studs are easily bored with talk and chalk and handouts. they need drama..they hunger for glam0ur. so let the game begins.

loves for everybody.. cos i so damn hate every one that blocks my way to the washroom. sebab now i really need to blow my nose every 20 secs.. flu.

my voice back. lost it again. 2nd time in two years teching. kena belajar keluar suara dari perut ni.. save my vocal cord.

that's all for now..

time won't tell everything.

why is hard for her to just left all behind.

when time could no longer show the future.

where all the surprises were too brutal to be wait for.

when there's no light to even the sad tone on her face.

but the colour of his belligerent eyes.

move her obstinate heart.

down, flatten then bloom over again.

crack, open, unwrap the gratified she.

well, she is her.

like everybody used to say,

bye is never near her.

not in her dependent mind.

time won't tell everything.

when she just stood there to be told.

the path of her dreams. their dreams..

that's what he used to tame her wild spirit.

with dreams.

never ending dreams.

and she foresees them.

she is not me. not even her. you maybe.

nobody's confession.

-rus-

some thoughts of motherhood

some thoughts that i'd quote from rd. so true though i never been a mother yet. just a daughter of one great mom.

• Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby... that somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.
• Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct... that somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
• Somebody said being a mother is boring... that somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
• Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"... that somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
• Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices... that somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
• Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother... that somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
• Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first... that somebody doesn't have five children.
• Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books... that somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
• Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery... that somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten... or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."
• Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back... that somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
• Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married... that somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
• Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home... that somebody never had grandchildren.
• Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her... that somebody isn't a mother

love you mom, always do.

the negativity about me.

Today i 've gut to write again. its been sometimes since the last post. i'd type and then i backout. just not in the mood. i just love reading other people's blogs. really enjoying that and i did learn something out of it. i've soo many things to spill out but lack of everything in putting them down.


There's always a big wall againts me. i just become cleared about that when i was watching "run fat boy run" . not that i didn't realise about it before this.i just dont want to. it's hard to run down the big wall. for a person who is 25 and always depend on others decisions. i just wait for something to happen. i love life without comitment and responsibility. i love when i accomplisht little things which is good i guesss. i did blame on others on their decisions. i just need to be clear on what i want.

This year, i dont have any resolution. just want to do my part well. i just want to be a grateful daughter to my dad and my moms. a good sister to my sisters and brothers and a better teacher to my students. overall, i just want to be good to everyone especially to all my family members. missing them already. sorry tok. just hurting them too much wif my foul mouth.

I easily fall for others yet hate them at the same time.gila. so much envy in my heart. i just need to get rid of these bad feelings toward others. i have such a good life but never appreciate it. i hate everything about my life when i suppose to be gratefull. i just want to be home. when everything runs below me. here everything just flows above me. i've been so left out with everything. kak ina's getting married and i'm stuck here. to sad to think about it. when i will be back? the night before her big day..sorry.

the lists are just too long..i just hope that this year will be the year. tiba-tiba tringat lagu change.

rindu la.